No point anymore

Selvmordstanker
1

I tried to commit suicide 2 weeks ago. I survived and the way I was treated was a joke. My psych consult the next day was a 10 minute conversation - she squeezed me in between two patients, and that was all the psych consulting i got. The next day I was sent on my way with no support or anything.

Since then, I have felt nothing. No joy. No happiness. Just emptiness. I cant even cry. All day I have constantly thought of nothing but doing it again.

I smoke and as of tomorrow, I have no money in the bank for 10 days. Losing the only crutch I have at this time drives me deeper into hopelessness.

At one point, I thought about wanting to work on a hobby but my idea involves a computer better than a 15 year old laptop with a dead battery. So i created a gofundme, and after it told me to share it with all my friends. I have none. So there goes that, which just made my depression 10x worse.

NAV emergency social help is out of the question. the last time i tried that i was yelled at because they saw a few hundred kroner at vinnmonopolet and made me feel so bad that any contact with them would surely end things.

No point in calling the hospital. That just results in a conversation and (if still suicidal) being put in a pretty dehumanizing small mental place at the hospital so theres no help there other than being locked up for a few days.

I feel like I’ve tried everything over the years. The system is setup to help people with small easy to solve issues. DPS wont see me anymore because “they arent setup for long term help” and, well i could go on and on but its just making me feel even worse.

Basically, I just feel like there is nowhere else left to turn and nobody wants to help, and the help i do get has been worse than not getting it.

The thoughts spiral. I know i only needed to take a few more pills and this would have all been over. I don’t want to feel this way but there just isnt really anything left to look forward to at this point. Disability and chronic neverending pain definitely do not help the situation and also add to the no future feeling.

I just wanted to type out some of my pain in the hopes that it might help me but i think ill stop now because its making me feel worse instead of better.

Apologies if this brought anyone down reading it.

2

Hi. I am sorry for you. That must be tough.

I’m not familiar with the system, so I wanted to ask something.
If DPS is not for long term help what/who is?

What kind of hobby you wanted to work with? Are you creating something or is it something else? Is it something you could work with in a library? (In my country there is possibility to borrow computers and other devices for use, maybe also in Norway:)

The country I come from has church you can seek help from, also social and financial support, diakoni. It is possible you can’t get just money from there but support to sort it out somehow. Maybe they have diakoni here, too? In my country they help everyone, you don’t have to be member of the church, they don’t ask.

Do you have contact with your family?

3

You seem to be in a very dark place, and it upsets me that people at NAV yell at you!