Befoe I had a goal, and the days felt meaningfull. Now I dont know why I stand up in the morning. I wanted to be a doctor therefore I worked hard on shcool and got good grades. Then I didnt want to be a doctor, but a nurse. On somepoint it felt easier and more fitting for me. Becuase i thougt it was easier to be a nurse, in terms on grades, I neglected shcool and that lead to neglecting many other responsibilitys, with reflected back on me and made me feel depressed and lowered my self-esteam. Now I dont feel like I am doing a good job on my life, or that I have purpose. I am really worried about what I am gonna do in the future, or how I am gonna manage to be nurse. for me it seamed like the education to nursery is has more social factores and activites than for being a doctor, and I am not a social person. I realized that a littel late, so now I am sitting her feeling afraid of begining the education, and dont really know what else I should choose.
Hi :)
I used to have the same goal as you, I also wanted to be a doctor. Due to stress and personal problems I didn’t succeed and went through many years with feelings of failure.
I hope you will find profound and deep meaning in being yourself regardless of your academic path and career. You are so much more than what you do. Do you have friends that remind you of this?
Please know that society favors social and outgoing people. But not everyone is like that! And: not all patients that you’ll one day encounter will be outgoing and social, many of them are just like you!
We need a diversity in nurses because some of us prefer to connect with another introvert when we are patients. Maybe you can have some deep and meaningful talks with your patients instead of just small-talk? Please continue your studies, there is room for you too :)
Can I ask how old you are?
Kind greetings
Hi, thank you for your kind words. It realy made me feel okay to read them. :)
I didnt just just neglect shcool, but also realtionships and rotuines. I didnt have that much friends from before, now I cutted contact with them. Much of it i think is becuase of me feeling low and deepresed, so i didnt want to deal with anyone, so I kind of shutted them out. Messing with my rotuines i should never have done, cause now even my health is worse than before.
But then again, I think i can work things out. Cause like being on topp of eveything isnt the only way to live. I am almost 19, and it really freaks me out not being abel to deliver as i used to do. Also my familly is little bit concerned of me and what I am going to do. Things realy dont seam as clear as before. Now i know how people felt when they said i was lucky to certain know what i wanted to do. Well, I think it was more of a thing I feelt i had to do cause thats what i always had said iam gonna be. its hard to began jogging again when you stopped halfways. Thinking back i can see all the things i coudl have done to stay on track. But the past is in the past (as they sung on some song).
And then there is the problem with me not knowing who i am longer, or what i am good at. It feels like i am lost in some unknwon land that i walked into. Even if it also feels good and unstressfull, and i have like a lot of time to do what i like, there is dobut about if i really could manage to have these talks with the patients. I guess i can learn more about it so i can be abel to help them.
I just wrote down some more thougts, made me think a littel bit.
Thanks again for your answer. <3 :D